Is the Dirt in love?
What? Did I say it? Oh yeah I think I did... I think I am falling for someone that... Well...
I had my chance, my 44 years old man... he was absolutley perfect. Fantastic, handsome and sooo great. He is all I ever wanted, I thought. I have given up on him now, the reasons are many. TOO many! And I now realize, how good it feels, how perfect you think everything are... it will always break. Even thou we was ages apart, worlds apart... I thought this was right. He was old, handsome and mature... Everything that I looked for in a man. And I was wrong. So wrong.
I've changed. I have. And it's to the better, for real. If perfection is for real, I think this is perfect. But well, as usual I'll jinx it. Will this last? Will this be for a while? Or will I walk? Will he leave me? As so many times before, the old Dirt has fallen. I am an old hag. I like booze. Alcohol that never leaves my body. I am Dirty.
And this is so hard for me... I never thought a bartender could fall in love. Not this hard. And I am like... a child again. Everytime I think of his smile, I feel good. But is this a phase? Just another phase? Will this all go away in about a couple of months? Will I return to the bar again, as a champ or as a loser? Well, y'all know me, at least I am always a winner. But who can judge me? God?
Well, I am a Dirty old girl. Too tired to be awake. Soon time to do some dirty hours in the bar. Some really dirty hours... haha. What am I supposed to do?
Will love be a bartenders death, my death? Or will they forgive me, understand me and take me back? I am as I told you old now, dirty as hell and fucking amazing...
Well, let's see who's the boss of tomorrow. I AM! - WINNER
Over and out
-Dirt, your perfect stranger.
One month, 3 Hollywood movies
It's been a month since our journey did begin.
History will be told, piece by piece...
It all started the 12th of December 2010 at a Booze Cruise. We went a couple of people from work and had a great time. As fast as we enter the dinner area, we meet Stureplan's finest. Haha. And let's say it like this, we were the only "young" and normal people there. Haha, and as you all know by now, I do not kiss and tell. But it was dirty for some of us, and some didn't had the chance to get any. Even thou they had the chance. Haha.
Well, the party week started and we had a great time. Mäkk did lead us into a world of dirty dirty secrets. Me and K was like two ghost, fine by me to be honest. Haha. Well, today it's a bit of a Love Drama. And I like to stand next to this and watch... Or sorry we like to watch. Peeping Tom warning... ;)
Well, the 15th of December is one of the best days of my life. On our way to Spy Bar, after work. Nice! K me and Mäkk. Going home to me, get my ID and all that shit. And best of all, half way there I notice that I lost it. Haha just turn around and found it. But yeah. When we came down to Spy Bar, I told the girls, that I ain't standing in line, so we took a drive to see if Soap Bar was open, and with my luck, no. Haha. Anyways, ended up at Spy Bar, med V and D. Very nice, but before I leave the cab, the driver, a very handsome man, sexy and kind of dangerous but still charming, and I kept on talking, he gave me his number and so on. We said good night and all was nice. Had a beer and a funny way to make fun of ugly people. But well well, we are Angels. ;)
And now, we are here, a month later. I am still, believe it or not still going strong with P. Works for me, even thou every couple has their secret. Mine is as you all know, DIRTY ;) Mäkk is going up and down with D, the guy I met at the booze cruise. And in between it has been Heaven and Hell.
Well movie one, the booze cruise. You had to be there to understand how SICK it really was, all the fights, all the kisses, all the dirty things. Everything was amazing. In a good and a bad way.
Movie two, is all the drama, in the middle of it all. Mäkk and D. Me and P. Left work, and all the parties.
Movie three is the love story. My life has changed. My life will change. I will still be dirty. And trust me, with this guy, I'll grow into my Dirty lifestyle for real. It is a drama of itself.
Fucking lovely to be back on top.
I am Dirt. Yours truly.
The world with new eyes.
I am the master.
Well, we had a little conversation at work the other day and it got freaky, as usual when I am around. Haha
I see the world as a zoo. Men are animals and women are animals... and I am the owner of the zoo. Which means that I own the world. And I love people differently much. If we have too much of the cows at my zoo, we will get rid of them, how? That's the secret I'll never tell... But if some animal acts wrong, they will get killed. And I will make them go away. Sell them, kill them or whatever...
If there's a fight for the alpha male, and everyone know that the owner makes the decision of who will make it to the next level. This zoo is like a video game as well,.. I am the master jedi, and you are all my padawans, my puppets my slaves. Haha. But I did notice that in this zoo, we have a little bit too much of cows in my zoo... Who wants them?
Haha we just had a talk at home about the size of a man's penis, and the dept of a woman... and K says "mine is longer!!!" what the hell?! haha
Well, I know that in my zoo a creditcard is overrated, a big penis is overrated and love... fuck that shit, I am Dirt! If I want love, I call my mother. That's her part in life, to loooove me for the rest of my life, no matter what I do or say.
Back to my zoo... If anyone needs a fat, ugly cow... give me a ring. I give them away. This is 2011, we don't have time or space for ugly people in this world ;)
- Dirt
What happens when you are drunk?
I am your eyes, ears and witness when you are at my bar. I am your boss, your PR-manager and I am your body guard. I am also the bouncer, the boss and the bartender.
What you don't remember, I do. That's why I am here. I make you drink my amazing drinks, I make you dance for me, I make you smile for me and I make you feel like home next to me. ;)
Doesn't matter. But please, don't make dirt infront of me? I am not a porn producer, I am a bartender and even if I am dirty, I don't wanna see old people, drunk people, ugly people get it going around me!
Haha I have my own oldies and what I do... I don't share, yet ;) hahaha. wait for it, you will wanna hear this dirt.
Okay I am gonna tell you a little something... my oldie is twice my age, my oldie has children. And he is into really freaky things. Like golden showers... plugs and whatever. I am not!
But hey, no judgement. I am a sick person, but I am not THAT sick...! hahah!
I love body shots. Well, I am gonna spend my last couple of days off with some booze and some nice food.
In the dark, you'll dream of me.
- D. Cointreau
Hey hoe, let's go.
Well thanks for this week!
Eleven nights in the bar and one really dirty night. ;) Feels like I am on my way back again.
Do you hear this?!
We are back.
Well, soon time for christmas and everyone is so sweet and cute it's scary, christmas shopping and lots of underwears to the people of Sweden I really hope. Well this Christmas is going to be calm, easy and sooo dirty as usual.
Haha, let me tell you this, last year I had a great Christmas night, and this year has to top it.
So what are we seeking?
- A man
- A party
- A hell lot of alcohol
- Nudity
Then you have the perfect mix of it all...
haha. And I am gonna kiss and tell... If you ever wake up thiry minutes from the city, naked and scared... ;) Then you know you had a great night ;)
Haha. Gotta love photagraphers ;)
Eleven nights in the bar and one really dirty night. ;) Feels like I am on my way back again.
Do you hear this?!
We are back.
Well, soon time for christmas and everyone is so sweet and cute it's scary, christmas shopping and lots of underwears to the people of Sweden I really hope. Well this Christmas is going to be calm, easy and sooo dirty as usual.
Haha, let me tell you this, last year I had a great Christmas night, and this year has to top it.
So what are we seeking?
- A man
- A party
- A hell lot of alcohol
- Nudity
Then you have the perfect mix of it all...
haha. And I am gonna kiss and tell... If you ever wake up thiry minutes from the city, naked and scared... ;) Then you know you had a great night ;)
Haha. Gotta love photagraphers ;)
This is a dirty story.
Haha. I am a horrible and naked person! I am a mean machine. And I can pull it off.
Well, let's tell you this... I am super fine naked, I am perfetction. I am 100% pure sex appeal.
Well... I know how good looking I am, I know how great I am and I know that no one can ever touch me. I am the one and only. Leave it out to the rest. I pick my guys, and I can do it. Haha. I know that I am a horrible but perfect person, and if I want a guy he is mine.
Try to make me cry, try to make me feel bad and try to make me lose my mind. You'll try forever. Haha.
Well, I found what I was looking for. I had it, I let it go and I laughed. And now I am done. Going back to my safety. My heart. And haha, I am evil. I am pure evil.
If you ever see me twice, you are lucky. ;) And now lap 2.
Let me tell you this, children of the night. I am so dirty that dirt seems to be clean. And I am so honest about my dirty nights, that the pope seems like a liar. ;)
And wait and see who's my victim for this week ;)
Dirty bartender. ;)
are bartenders stupid people?
I´ve been wondering for a kinda long while now, why people think we are the stupid people in general...
is it because we shake you drinks in the middle of the night? Or is it because we work night shifts? Or that we are not academics? Or is it because we are super fucking awesome? And that we are good-looking? Why does people think we are stupid?
I mean, maybe I don't know the name of the first king of Sweden - because the lack of interests? Or that I don't really like the royal people?
Maybe I don't know what capital there is in Cambodia... - but I know how to make like 300 different cocktails.
Maybe I don't know how many people died in the Korea war... or who really won. - But I am korean, and I actually feel... nothing for that country at all.
But what does matters in this life? Outside of the bar, inside of the bar...? I know things about beer that you will never know, because you find no interests in it at all... And to me this is my life. You call me by nicknames that is not okay, my friends are allowed. But who the fuck are you? I can still get what ever I want, I can even have all the jobs you want. Even thou I don't have a fancy academic education. And I can do whatever I want, when ever I want... Because I am not signed for anything. And damn. I promise you, I am so much better than you at everything in this world....
You call me stupid, but face it... you can't cook, you can't even iron your fucking shirts. You have no manors at all... maybe you know the first president, or who won a Nobel peace price for the first time... but I can learn that aswell, if I read a magazine or an article... you can never learn manors... And face it. Maybe I am the most good looking girl in the room, and don't judge me.
Have you been living my life for an hour, you would have killed yourself. And who will miss you when you die? No one will notice, till we can smell your dead rotten body in your bed... Maybe then we will notice... Don't bother to talk to me. Okay?
Maybe I am not fancy enough to enter the Nobel Dinner, but darling you.... If I am fancy enough to get an offer to serve food at the dinner, then I'm good enough.
And who are you to judge me, farmer boy? Who are you to tell me who I am and who are you to judge my way to dress? Maybe I had some issues before, look at me now. Fucking wonderful, still awesome and the best of the best. I am the brightest star in the sky.
And maybe I am not fancy enough for you... but who wants you? You sleep with bitches and you are nothing but a loser. I am maybe a whore in your eyes, I am a slut... but a single girl with my looks, darling...! You are so far away from prefect. I have been perfect, I have been the marrying kind. Now, I am not, because I choose not to be. Still, I am the most amazing girl you'd have been with. But you burned your bridges. Drop dead.
If you'd have seen the world from my eyes, you'd cry. You would jump off a cliff, and you would never be remembered. Look at me, I've been trough hell, I've been in hell... and I am on my way back to the top. And you are nothing, no one! You are nothing at all. You will never be...! I've been it all. Are we having fun yet?
I'm the dirty bartender, I am the most amazing girl you can dream of.
I am Dirt Cointreau.
Not very dirty.
Just got the fucking answer on my questions... I am ill... Pretty baaaaaaaad!
Just feeling so fucking low. Don't wanna be like thiiiis!!!
I am soooo saaaaaaaaaaad, or am I? haha! At least I am not more ill than the other person. At least I am healthy enough. At least I am happy. Or am I?
Haha, the dirty bartender has gone a bit less dirty and more disgusting... yeah. But just atm. But hey, I am so dirty that dirt looks clean. I am so dirty in my head, that a sex addict seems harmless. Ask M, and he will tell you it all. And yes, he is a man... not a boy.
And by the way, what makes you elderly men, think it's ever appropiate to squeeze someone's butt, to make sounds as if we were dogs... when is this ever okay? I can tell you this, when you tip me a car, a nice fucking car like an Aston Martin Vintage, then it's totally fine by me. When you give me a million dollars, this is okay... You haven't? No, then it's never okay, you stupid motherfucker and I wish you to die. You are never allowed to touch me, to talk to me or to ask me anything, if you don't tip me. I am a tip whore, and at least I can feel proud. Because we all know that I am the biggest tip whore in town. And I am your dream at every level. I am so dirty that your girlfriend seems boring, and she's a sex godess! I am so dirty that my bar will never be the same.
I am the kind of bartender without judgement, I am the kind you love, the kind your girlfriends hate, but deep inside they love me, and want to be me. All people are amazed by me, and all you want to do, is me!
Well, now I am gonna take my bag and leave again... ;)
See you in the cheapest bar.
Dirty nights.
Just got back home from an after party... hell! :D
Well, I am sex walking down the street, walk of shame, nono!
Anyways, back in the bar tonight. And shake some booty.
I look damn fine tonight, and I have some dirty stories to tell ;)
From me to you, have a dirty wet night in my bar.
Dirt
Well, I am sex walking down the street, walk of shame, nono!
Anyways, back in the bar tonight. And shake some booty.
I look damn fine tonight, and I have some dirty stories to tell ;)
From me to you, have a dirty wet night in my bar.
Dirt
A very wet and dirty night out
Some say that bartenders are the sickest people in the world, and yeah, maybe. Because we always want to get drunk, we always want to be more awesome than the person next to us. But hell no. I don't need that, I created awesomeness... so fuck y'all.
No just kidding, had a really awesome night friday, even more awesome this saturday... dancing, singing, jumping up and down and making fantastic drinks, and even some dirty jokes. ;) But you know me by now, and you all know that without Dirt, no kiss and tell...
So what else to say? - Sunday, bloody sunday, nothing really to do at work, just had some fun with the lads and went home after work, had like one chance to be dirty... ONE in one night. Sloooooow! But we will be back @ Thaiboat.
Slow week aswell, but you make it nice. We went out, three bartenders hand in hand yesterday and had a blast. Thanks to me, we had to drink crazy as beer, tasted like shit... and I was super drunk, super sexy and super fab.
Anyways, tries to get a hold of N, so we can be really dirty. Along with another partner... but hey, slow man... you missed it. But it will come again and we all know it. If you like it the first time, you will crave it after a while... dirty me! ;)
Well well, I have the cold, so I am pretty tired... Changed my hair colour and tomorrow I'll do it again...
Sooo, who will see me take my clothes off in the bar this weekend? ;)
You'll find me as usual @ Sommar!, in the Panorama bar. ;)
Dirty dreams and wet nights.
No just kidding, had a really awesome night friday, even more awesome this saturday... dancing, singing, jumping up and down and making fantastic drinks, and even some dirty jokes. ;) But you know me by now, and you all know that without Dirt, no kiss and tell...
So what else to say? - Sunday, bloody sunday, nothing really to do at work, just had some fun with the lads and went home after work, had like one chance to be dirty... ONE in one night. Sloooooow! But we will be back @ Thaiboat.
Slow week aswell, but you make it nice. We went out, three bartenders hand in hand yesterday and had a blast. Thanks to me, we had to drink crazy as beer, tasted like shit... and I was super drunk, super sexy and super fab.
Anyways, tries to get a hold of N, so we can be really dirty. Along with another partner... but hey, slow man... you missed it. But it will come again and we all know it. If you like it the first time, you will crave it after a while... dirty me! ;)
Well well, I have the cold, so I am pretty tired... Changed my hair colour and tomorrow I'll do it again...
Sooo, who will see me take my clothes off in the bar this weekend? ;)
You'll find me as usual @ Sommar!, in the Panorama bar. ;)
Dirty dreams and wet nights.
Dirty nights outside of Stockholm?
Well, where does the it end?
After a late movie and popcorn? After having great, fantastic and a bit dirty nudity with a a stranger?
Well, my dirty nights has just begun, and I am back. And soon off again...
but well well... I had a super great night the other day, 2400 people. I made some happy, some less happy, but if you can't take the beat, don't beg for it. Losers. Well well, I made my Jack-o-politan the other day, it was kinda nice, very ... strange. But hell.
And I had a couple of dirty nights this past weekend. And I think more is to come. Pretty me!
Well, I have to complain, as usual...
If I see that small little child, come close to me, someone will have to pay for it. Okay? I am a mean motherfucking bartender when I get mad. So do not ever piss me off...
haha
but hey, now, after a night of silence... I'll go back and work, and dance, and act like a fool. I am a fool. And I am super dirty today ;) Mess with the best and die like the rest. ;)
Off we go, my little hoe... See you in the dark.
After a late movie and popcorn? After having great, fantastic and a bit dirty nudity with a a stranger?
Well, my dirty nights has just begun, and I am back. And soon off again...
but well well... I had a super great night the other day, 2400 people. I made some happy, some less happy, but if you can't take the beat, don't beg for it. Losers. Well well, I made my Jack-o-politan the other day, it was kinda nice, very ... strange. But hell.
And I had a couple of dirty nights this past weekend. And I think more is to come. Pretty me!
Well, I have to complain, as usual...
If I see that small little child, come close to me, someone will have to pay for it. Okay? I am a mean motherfucking bartender when I get mad. So do not ever piss me off...
haha
but hey, now, after a night of silence... I'll go back and work, and dance, and act like a fool. I am a fool. And I am super dirty today ;) Mess with the best and die like the rest. ;)
Off we go, my little hoe... See you in the dark.
New beginning.
Hey Hoe, lets go!
I came back two months ago, feels L-OV-E-L-Y, and to be honest, the only things I miss are my company and the sweet weather.
But what the hell, I am back where I started and now I am a dirty little bartender. It feels fiiiiiine, actually. So hey, since I came back, I started to live again. And here we go.
I'm working @ Sommar! it's pretty nice and lots of drinks, I open beers... but mostly because the allow me to dance, to be a jerk. And I enjoy it... And I also stand behind the bar @ ThaiBoat and it's fucking amazing.
Where did I pick the first one? Well, it's not many at all... no no... I keep clean. But the summer has just arrived. We love dirty nights, sweaty mornings and hang-overs. I don't kiss and tell, but I do kiss... And I do it alot ;)
Yesterday I think I made like 200 Frozen Mojitos and I think I did open like 300 bottles of beer. Sick of it all, or am I? - NEVAH! -
Tomorrow, I think I'll make like 200 different shots, I love it... the dirtier, the most horrible and nasty, the better... and as usual, take it all BITCH! You know where to find me...
@ Panorama - Sommar! I am yours all night baby!
No, now I need to lay my beautiful head down, dream about dirty boys in my dirty mind, and they will all do dirty things... ;) Just as I like it.
I came back two months ago, feels L-OV-E-L-Y, and to be honest, the only things I miss are my company and the sweet weather.
But what the hell, I am back where I started and now I am a dirty little bartender. It feels fiiiiiine, actually. So hey, since I came back, I started to live again. And here we go.
I'm working @ Sommar! it's pretty nice and lots of drinks, I open beers... but mostly because the allow me to dance, to be a jerk. And I enjoy it... And I also stand behind the bar @ ThaiBoat and it's fucking amazing.
Where did I pick the first one? Well, it's not many at all... no no... I keep clean. But the summer has just arrived. We love dirty nights, sweaty mornings and hang-overs. I don't kiss and tell, but I do kiss... And I do it alot ;)
Yesterday I think I made like 200 Frozen Mojitos and I think I did open like 300 bottles of beer. Sick of it all, or am I? - NEVAH! -
Tomorrow, I think I'll make like 200 different shots, I love it... the dirtier, the most horrible and nasty, the better... and as usual, take it all BITCH! You know where to find me...
@ Panorama - Sommar! I am yours all night baby!
No, now I need to lay my beautiful head down, dream about dirty boys in my dirty mind, and they will all do dirty things... ;) Just as I like it.
The End.
The greatest journey in the world ends tonight...
I am sorry to say... But this is the way it has to be. I am still in Beirut, Lebanon. But my wingman, my bro... my master jedi is in sweden, and that's not the way the cookie crambles. I am sorry to say. We are still open to travel the world, so if you know THE place to be, we are there, yesterday.
I am gonna tell you the most amazing story now, about true friendship.
Barnaby stood by my side, from the day one... he has been a true bro. He calls me when there's a girl fight and he is the one who provides me with protection when I need it the most. Barnaby is my wingman, my bro... the one I'd die for. He is so good, so handsome and so perfect that Dorian Grey can fuck himself three times around the world and still be grey next to Barnaby. I am gonna tell you this, girls... Barnaby's heart goes through his belly. Give him food, look good and have big boobs, and you are home...
I am leaving for now. Catch you later.
MHSS - you are my love.
I am sorry to say... But this is the way it has to be. I am still in Beirut, Lebanon. But my wingman, my bro... my master jedi is in sweden, and that's not the way the cookie crambles. I am sorry to say. We are still open to travel the world, so if you know THE place to be, we are there, yesterday.
I am gonna tell you the most amazing story now, about true friendship.
Barnaby stood by my side, from the day one... he has been a true bro. He calls me when there's a girl fight and he is the one who provides me with protection when I need it the most. Barnaby is my wingman, my bro... the one I'd die for. He is so good, so handsome and so perfect that Dorian Grey can fuck himself three times around the world and still be grey next to Barnaby. I am gonna tell you this, girls... Barnaby's heart goes through his belly. Give him food, look good and have big boobs, and you are home...
I am leaving for now. Catch you later.
MHSS - you are my love.
kiwi&barnaby s1e02
Still here, just me and the chef's computer... finally, electricity. Two days without this fucking power makes you go nuts...
But here we go motherfukkers. Haha... Soon is Barnaby here, and everything will be really fine. I am cleaning the bar for the ... 278th time today, and it's still dirty... what the hell?!
But well well... I am going to make fantastic cocktails as soon as we open... 28th of April is ICE Beirut open, welcome in, losers.
But here we go motherfukkers. Haha... Soon is Barnaby here, and everything will be really fine. I am cleaning the bar for the ... 278th time today, and it's still dirty... what the hell?!
But well well... I am going to make fantastic cocktails as soon as we open... 28th of April is ICE Beirut open, welcome in, losers.
kiwi&barnaby s1e01
Kiwi has arrived. Kiwi is in Beirut.
I love it...
the baaaaaaaaaar is, so amazing... nothing can describe my happiness, but I miss Barnaby. At the moment I am at The City Palace, with Daniel the chef and Peter the man behind the cash system... NICE. We are watching UFC.
The internet is crap, the TV is all in arabic or lebanese. But hey, it's niiice here. I am so happy that I have the people here. Daniel is a really nice guy and Jack, he is the boss. I mean, daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, love it here. Just ate at Pizza hut, and yesterday... omfg... what to say. I am too old to be out making the town risky. Hell no. I am just waiting for my baby B and of course my lovely boyfriend.
B - you have NO idea of what's coming. I am here for you, every single step on the road. I am your boss, and I am also your best friend. You are my one and only, you know that. Miss you bro.
Max, my love... what to say? - you are my everything, my heart, my soul ... every breathe that I take. I do love you.
But hey, now I am gonna tell you a story.
When an old hag leaves her home, it's not so she can return to a safe place, no place is safe... when an old hag leaves, it's for good. But the old hag will never forget the past, she will just ignore the bads and face the better times. The old hag, did die... she is now Kiwi. And a Kiwi, always returns to the home.
over and out.
