Kiwi has arrived. Kiwi is in Beirut.
I love it...
the baaaaaaaaaar is, so amazing... nothing can describe my happiness, but I miss Barnaby. At the moment I am at The City Palace, with Daniel the chef and Peter the man behind the cash system... NICE. We are watching UFC.
The internet is crap, the TV is all in arabic or lebanese. But hey, it's niiice here. I am so happy that I have the people here. Daniel is a really nice guy and Jack, he is the boss. I mean, daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, love it here. Just ate at Pizza hut, and yesterday... omfg... what to say. I am too old to be out making the town risky. Hell no. I am just waiting for my baby B and of course my lovely boyfriend.
B - you have NO idea of what's coming. I am here for you, every single step on the road. I am your boss, and I am also your best friend. You are my one and only, you know that. Miss you bro.
Max, my love... what to say? - you are my everything, my heart, my soul ... every breathe that I take. I do love you.
But hey, now I am gonna tell you a story.
When an old hag leaves her home, it's not so she can return to a safe place, no place is safe... when an old hag leaves, it's for good. But the old hag will never forget the past, she will just ignore the bads and face the better times. The old hag, did die... she is now Kiwi. And a Kiwi, always returns to the home.
over and out.
This is just the beginning of a young dream team.
We are leaving our friends, families and loved ones behind... to live the dream. We are just packing a bag, and leave. Who is standing in our way? No one. We are going to live our dream, to become the reality. Barnaby and I are the most upcoming bartenders, we are fighters.
Well, this is how to describe us more...
Kiwi is a strange, tiny little bitch with a very macho-style and a soft inside. Kiwi is the perfect girlfriend and best mate in the world. Well, yeah.
Barnaby is this handsome, pretty man, with a chill side and ice-cold heart. Barnaby is the perfect wingman and a great bartender. When you ask him to make you an Orgasm, you'll have it his way, and you'll love it, damn it!
Well, six days to go... Then I'm off for Beirut, and damn! I am going to fight. I am the war lord and Barnaby is my army, I can't fight without him and he can't go out to fight without me. I am God and Barnaby is my Heaven. We fit together, like the fish in the water. I am nothing without him and he is an empty shell with no Kiwi.
This isn't over, this is the beginning...
I'm off to work now... See you in the fog!
Well well, little hoe...
When you open up the door, you'll lose it all. You are going to wanna die. You are nothing. When you look at me, and then at B... what will you see? - Perfection.
We are perfect. A dream team, the A-team. Run around in the woods, hide from us... we'll find you... fast, and with no mercy at all.
We are leaving this shitty life behind and aim for the stars. You think you are someone, girl... trust me... we are of fnow. You are nothing... Leave B alone, he is all mine. Mine to keep, as a wing man, as the right hand in every single way... I am Kiwi, peel me.
but boys, hold it... hold your horses now. I am not for sale, not to be eaten... not available any more. You are too slow. And see me running up the hill, try to keep up your fat, lazy asses. This Kiwi, is from now on... someone's Kiwi.
And young Baranby then? Well, girls, do you deserve him? Are you hot enough, are you smart enough? Money can't buy love, well... money can buy him. The highest bidder, and I'm on. But I'll have to make sure, you don't have crazy eyes.
And hey... who knows what will be written in the playbook? Who knows of the true Bro-code Kiwi/Barnaby version? I do. Because, as the team we are, we make the rules, not you. And hey again... girl look up in the sky. What will you see? You'll see the angel of death, an arch-angel... it's me. If evil could have a face, it'd mine, if kindness could have a face, it's Baranby. I'm gonna tell yo ua story now of how awesome we are...
Well, I am pure evil. I used to be a hardcore player... I was. And I am proud. Because I am the master of pick-up. And I am still young, but old enough to be the hottest girl in the room, and still fantastic and sexy at the same time. I am the girl who laugh at fat, ugly people. I am the girl who take a picture of fallen people, and laugh them in their faces. And I am walking away with my head held high. That's me.
Well, Barnaby has a more sweet side. He is caring, love people... He is the calm one of us. The one who is thinking for the both of us, he has his feet on the ground. Barnaby is the one who leads old, ugly people across the street and carry their food bags to their cars... He is a good boy. A nice guy.
In between, we laugh at the same jokes. We treat each other with respect and love, but just as bros.
To sum it all... I am the devil, and Barnaby is the angel. I am fallen and he is rising. I am Dirt and he is Pure. I am Death and he is Life. I am hopeless and he is hope... well you see the point. Opposites attract!
Bazinga!
It's true, we do everything together, as a team. Losing money/dinners together, or at least to the same person. And we act too proud together. We are the best pair of Aces in the game.
Girls, you are losing a great friend, and a hot guy. I'd have been able to protect you for the rest of your lives... and I am breaking some hearts by leaving, aswell. But Barnaby, he is dangerous.
When you see us, walking in the sun. You'll hear in the head "
Kenny Loggins - Danger Zone", and you'll have the chills. You will see the most upcoming bartenders in the world. We are so dangerous that you'll crave our cocktails.
But this is the only story I won't tell all the way...
But I'll give you a
poem.
I am the world's last barman poet.
I see America drinking the fabulous cocktails I make.
Americans getting stinking on something I stir or shake.
The Sex on the Beach,
The Schnapps made from peach,
The Velvet Hammer,
The Alabama Slammer.
I make things with juice and froth.
The Pink Squirrel,
The 3-Toed Sloth.
I make drinks so sweat and snazzy.
The Iced Tea,
The Kamikaze,
The Death Spasm,
The Singapore Sling,
The Ding-a-ling.
America you're just devoted to every flavor I got.
But if you want to get loaded,
Why don't you just order a shot?
Bar is OPEN!!!
I am Kiwi and this is our way to the top.
